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The imaginary titles of really terrible Offbeat Empire posts

What if I just let the editors go crazy with their pitches? What if we specialized in shitstorm posts? This was the question I posited to the staff in an email recently, asking them to share the imaginary titles of the most terrible Offbeat Empire posts we would never, ever publish. Then I laughed and laughed and laughed at their responses.

And so, just for funsies, here’s a short list of the horrific imaginary posts we’d never run…

Inclusive advertising that doesn’t pander

I work in Iowa, where same-sex marriage is legal (whoot for equality), and I was recently asked by my workplace to put together a brochure about the wedding rental facilities we have available — pavilions, parks, that sort of thing.

I am already planning on including a “We rent to everyone, regardless of who you’re in love with ” in the FAQs, but I want to make a bigger statement with the actual design.

On the flip side, I don’t want to seem like I’m blatantly pandering for the sake of it — I guess in my mind, I just feel like it’s somewhat exploitative to include a picture of two brides or two grooms just because “See how different they are? AND WE DON’T EVEN CARE!!”

What do you think? What’s the best way to advertise in a non-gender specific way? How would you do it?

If I submit my wedding to you, do I risk getting mocked online?

“I can see myself submitting content to Offbeat Home and Life… However, with the recent hateful post on another site regarding a lovely wedding featured on Offbeat Bride, I’m a little afraid to submit ANYTHING…”

Submissions we don’t ever accept

It’s unofficial “let’s talk about submissions!” week here on the Offbeat Empire! While I generally prefer to focus on the positive (e.g. here the kind of submissions we love!), I thought it might be useful to share a few kinds of submissions that we never ever accept… and a few of the reasons why. This is becoming extra pertinent because it’s wedding season and we’re getting a LOT of inquiries from business websites about commercial guestposts.

So while we LOVE getting guestpost submissions, here are a few of the guestposts that always get declined…