How are you accepting payments?
For this first edition of 100, I'm keeping it simple and in-house with sales via PayPal. If you're unable to purchase via PayPal for whatever reason, contact me and we can discuss alternate payment methods such as Google Pay or ye olde fashioned paper check.

How are you shipping?
For shipping within the domestic US, packages will be shipped USPS Priority Mail with tracking and insurance. Shipping is included in the package cost.

Will you ship internationally?
Yep. There are some extra shipping costs and risks involved, but if you're outside the US, I'll work with you to make sure the package gets into your hands! The costs depend on which country you're in (Canada is going to be different from India, for example), but it'll be in the $20-$50 range depending on insurance and customs. Go ahead and make your purchase, and I'll be in touch right away to talk through the shipping options.

Do you accept returns?
Nope. Because of the intimate nature of both the material and the wearable art, I'm not able to accept returns. If you're unhappy with the product, get in touch and I'll do my best to make it right.



What's the deal with the story? Is it a novel or how-to or an essay or what?

Let's call it erotic memoir. It's first-person, and it's a true story of my therapeutic bdsm experience with a sex worker… or at least as true as anyone's experience of a story can be. (In the defense of my experience of the truth, I will say that the other protagonist's first response to reading an early draft of the book was, "Holy shit, your memory is amazing.") It is graphic and sexual and all the folks who've read it have reported having physical reactions to it, but it's not specifically written to be masturbation material. It doesn't have a narrative arc that's like "Now you climax! The end!" It's got a lot of dense thought and emotional stuff in it… basically, it's my favorite combo of porn and processing.

Why are you selling the book only paired with jewelry? Why can't I just buy a copy of the book alone?

Because I wanted to experiment with creative collaboration. Because I wanted there to be a way to make it so that even once you put the book down, the experience to stays with you in your daily life, on your body and against your skin. Sometimes I feel bad about all the years of online writing I've done, and the ways that it's pulled people away from their bodies. I wanted to make this story a more full-sensory experience.

Why isn't this available as an ebook?

Because after 20 years of writing online, and 12 years of running a digital media company, I'm tired of the intangible. I wanted this work to be a physical object, touched, and felt not just in your mind, but also in your hand. For more about this, you can deep dive into my project motivations.

Why didn't you write this under a pen name?

Because I believe in the work — and when I say work, I mean that in terms of this writing as a work of literature, the book as a work of art, and the personal work I did to get to the place where I can share it. I also believe the work that consensual sex workers do with their clients. I believe in all these different kinds of work, and I believe in standing behind that work with my fullest, truest self. Also, writing this under my real name is vulnerable and terrifying, and that's where real growth happens. I don't want to hide or encourage others to hide. I want more stories like this out there, so maybe I need to go first.

…But aren't you worried about what will people think?

Probably some people will be sorta weirded out by it, but I'm not sure anyone's gonna be shocked… "Wait, the Offbeat Bride lady is into other offbeat stuff, too?!" Whodathunk! I mean, I get that it's a shift to go from writing nontraditional wedding planning advice to erotic memoir, but it's not like it's a huge stretch that a writer dedicated to nontraditional weddings and relationships would write about a different kind of nontraditional relationship. As for my friends and family, no one is surprised. My father (an old perv himself) heard me talking about the book and was just like, "Lordy, you're a chip off the ol' block." For more about this, you can deep dive into my project motivations.

Why is this so fucking expensive?

Because it's art. Because I don't want a million people to read it. Because I'm exploring valuation. Because I've given 20 years of my writing away for free on the internet. Because I want readers who are willing to invested in me and my work, in the hopes that the investment empowers them to pursue their own best work. Because I'm an entrepreneur. For more about this, you can deep dive into my project motivations.

What now?