Bigger pixels: This week's awesome comments (with bonus reader email!)

January 10 2014 | meggyfin

much bignessThe thing about the Empire that you've probably noticed is that we love to talk about, joke about, and post about sexy sex stuff… whether it's featuring a guide to buying bedroom toys, or ogling an Offbeat Bride's amazing rack.

This in mind, it shouldn't be shocking to you that our favorite comments of the week are all about breasts and embarrassing toy stories…

Offbeat Bride

Ariel positively flipped when she spotted Offbeat Bride Laura's wedding photos in our Flickr pool. So she did what any of us would have done, and wrote an entire post devoted to the colorsplosion that is Laura's dress. Laura mentioned that she thought her boobs looked pretty amazing in the dress (joking that it was the first time since 5th grade that she hadn't worn a bra), and no less than than THREE commenters heartily agreed:

  • "That dress is stunning! And your boobs DO look amazing!" –ysabelkid
  • -"Yay for gorgeous boobs! Beautiful! I love all the bright colors! LOVE!" –Kerry
  • "Ok, I have to admit the 2nd thing I thought (after admiring the colors!) was that your boobs look great!" –Dee

Offbeat Home

From sexy to sex… on Offbeat Home & Life we ran this suuuuuper informative post on shopping for the perfect toy. The comments were filled with insights, suggestions, and silliness, but the comments that made me L-the-F-O-L were the embarrassing stories of peoples kids finding their secret stash.

Slightly off topic, but a few months ago my now 18 month old daughter walked out of our bedroom with my rabbit. And being a toddler she of course put it straight in her mouth! My husband was horrified πŸ˜›
Note to self, hide the toys better! –Dinah
My two-year-old found my vibe, managed to turn it on, and laughed and shrieked with the utmost joy. She cried when I took it away, so I promised her one "in a few years." –Mary B.

Slightly off topic, yes, but seriously hilarious. The schadenfreude-lover in me wants to hear MORE embarrassing stories!

Empire email

Maybe you were too distracted by Laura's chest or the embarrassing toy talk, but did you notice something *ahem* a bit bigger about all the Empire blogs this week? Yup, we've widened our body template margins so that we can get fit even bigger photos into our posts! 800px of GORGEOUS RACKS! Eagle-eyed Offbeat Empire reader Tina S totally noticed, and sent us this adorable email:

I have nothing fancy to say, really, other than I love the layout of the blogs now.

They are wide and pretty, just like me! πŸ˜‰

The bigger to see you with, my dear!

Of course, like any new feature roll out, our widened margins may cause some weird layout issues in some of our older posts. If you see something looking bad in the archives (formatting weirdness, colliding text, etc) let us know! Just email us with a link.

  1. I like how there are three recommended posts under "YOU MIGHT LIKE" if I don't have my window maximized, but then when I maximize the window I get two more, like a present!

    I mean, maybe that's not new; I just noticed it this week and really like it πŸ˜€

  2. Not sure if it's just me (and my unmaximized browser), but a chunk of the photos this week appeared squished, and I was wondering if it might have anything to do with the new layout.

    • Yup, if you widen your browser, you should be able to see all the new bigger-y margin-y goodness.

  3. I love the wider body of the blog and the new Share bar at the bottom of the pages. I don't know if this is a new (permanent) thing or just a trial but I LOVE it! Everything is there when I need it and not some distracting, rainbow mess on the left.

    Oh yes, and I must agree that Laura has delicious boobs, and can't wait to see more of them when the wedding is featured (and the cake, the cake was pretty too!)!

  4. I was all worried when Laura's post first went up because the comments were closed. I was like "WHO WOULD BASH THIS GORGEOUS DRESS?! WHAT HAPPENED IN THE WEE HOURS THAT I MISSED?!"

    Luckily it was fine a few hours later. Seriously though, I was so sad I couldn't comment initially.

    • I have NO idea how I accidentally disabled commenting when I was drafting the post, but I was totally confused for the first couple hours when there were no comments… and then I was like, "Oh, jeez. My bad." Comments were open within a couple hours, I swear! Then I beat myself senseless for the error. πŸ™‚

  5. More embarrassing sex-toy stories? How about this:

    My guy and I were getting ready to move from one house to another, and we had some friends and a couple Mormon missionaries helping us. I have a plastic tool box to hold our toys, and I wasn't sure it was latched, since it rarely is. I had to pull my mister aside and tell him that I was just going to move it to the closet until they left, for fear it would come open… and what do you know, as soon as they left the room, I went to pick it up and it fell open. Embarrassment averted, right? Except my guy found it so amusing he repeated the story to basically everyone….

    Another instance, we were staying with friends while waiting for our house to open, due to some ridiculous circumstances that gave us a few hours to move out of our current place. Our fridge ended up in their garage but there was nowhere to plug it in, so we brought the drawers in to combine with their fridge and freezer… and I had a gorgeous glass dildo in the freezer, which I didn't even think about until her husband pulled it out and all I could do was be terribly mortified while they giggled about it. Gah.

  6. I sadly have to use Internet Explorer at work, so I don't know if that changes things, but I've noticed that recently any replies to comments are no longer indented to indicate that they're replies. All the comments are just one solid block, and it's become difficult to find determine when a comment is a specific reply to another comment, or if it is a comment to the whole post. Is this new? Is it me?

      • Ok, here's a screenshot: http://flic.kr/p/jq7Wn2. I am using IE 8 (I included the About screen in the screenshot for the more specific version). I'll admit, it might be something weird about where I work (there are lots of internet restrictions here). I just thought I would bring it up in case I was the only one. πŸ™‚

        • I actually have the exact same problem, with IE 8 running on Windows 7. I know, I know, it is probably all IE8's fault, but they won't give us a more recent browser at work *sigh*

          • Haha, that is my EXACT situation. Wait…. no, nevemrind, I won't ask where you work. πŸ˜‰ Glad to know it's not just me though.

  7. I do have a minor gripe about the new layout, actually… it makes the email subscription newsletters look FUGLY on my phone. (iPhone 4 running the most recent version of iOS, using the native iOS email app.) Fortunately, it seems to work fine on my tablet, (a Nook HD that's been jailbroken to run Android Jellybean, using the gmail app) so it's not too much of an issue, but it's still a little frustrating to need to switch devices if I'm really interested in reading just the editorial article (instead of the article + comments) of something on Home&Life.

    If I can figure out a handy way of getting the image off my phone and into a comment here, I'll try to share a screenshot off my phone. But to describe it, it's like the grey/white background image of the email template isn't scaling right, so the words and images of the text flow over onto the dark part and make it really difficult to read. At least I know it's not something wrong with my phone now though, and that it's just a growing pain from you guys making the site prettier on most devices!

    (Ok I think I got it, hopefully this link works? http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i232/veeisme/2014-01-26062242.png )

    • The email newsletter templates are completely separate from the blog templates. I'm using a pretty straightforward default mobile-friendly MailChimp template for the newsletter, so I'm not sure what would be causing it to look so bad on your phone.

      I'm actually on the verge of making some significant strategic changes to that email newsletter… ultimately, it's losing me money because A) I pay for the mailing service B) people who read the posts via email are less traffic on the actual sites. This is all to say, I don't have the resources to troubleshoot newsletter templates… but they will probably be changing soon!

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