April is for yurting: 2013 Empire Staff Retreat this week! (Expect fewer posts)

April 15 2013 | offbeatbride
The yurts at my mom's eco-retreat, Sacred Groves
The yurts at my mom's eco-retreat, Sacred Groves
It's mid-April which means it must be time for me to pry my remote-working contract staff out of their homes, forcing them to travel from lands afar (Philadelphia! Chicago! Los Angeles! The fucking Yukon!) to join me at my mom's weird hippie eco-retreat space out on Bainbridge Island for the annual Offbeat Empire staff retreat.

Like last year, I'm loading up my white van with crates of cheap wine from Trader Joe's… but sadly this year the van is a rented mini-van, because my beloved Vantasy (my family's white VW Westfalia) was stolen last week. Picking up my bitches at the airport in a mini-van is kind of a bummer, but whatever: it'll get us onto the Bainbridge Island ferry and out to the forests of Bainbridge Island.

Unlike last year when staff basically holed up in the woods in their sweat pants, this year we'll be coming into town for a party on Wednesday, April 17th.

You can expect reduced posting frequency on all the Empire sites both this week and next… my editorial bitches will be busy trail-walking, drinking cheap wine out of chipped mugs, breathing moss-oxygenated air, and soaking in a horse trough that doubles as a hot tub.

Trail in the Grand Forest. #offbeatretreat
Photo by Cat Rocketship
  1. As revenge for y'all being too far out of driving range for me to awkwardly attend your events, I have decided to make all the craziest comments I can think of while you guys are out having fun. *Fly hands* Think I'll go comb through the "titles of awful Offbeat posts" for ideas…

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    • I'm definitely commenting on every post that it needs moar beige. There will be a mass-flounce before the cocktails are even served. Take THAT, Looks-Totally-Fun game of Minglo.

      The Offbeat staff retreat fell on my work's hell week. So yeah, I'm a little jealous.

      4 agree

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