The imaginary titles of really terrible Offbeat Empire posts
What if I just let the editors go crazy with their pitches? What if we specialized in shitstorm posts? This was the question I posited to the staff in an email recently, asking them to share the imaginary titles of the most terrible Offbeat Empire posts we would never, ever publish. Then I laughed and laughed and laughed at their responses.
And so, just for funsies, here’s a short list of the horrific imaginary posts we’d never run…
If I submit my wedding to you, do I risk getting mocked online?
“I can see myself submitting content to Offbeat Home and Life… However, with the recent hateful post on another site regarding a lovely wedding featured on Offbeat Bride, I’m a little afraid to submit ANYTHING…”
Submissions we don’t ever accept
It’s unofficial “let’s talk about submissions!” week here on the Offbeat Empire! While I generally prefer to focus on the positive (e.g. here the kind of submissions we love!), I thought it might be useful to share a few kinds of submissions that we never ever accept… and a few of the reasons why. This is becoming extra pertinent because it’s wedding season and we’re getting a LOT of inquiries from business websites about commercial guestposts.
So while we LOVE getting guestpost submissions, here are a few of the guestposts that always get declined…
Teach me to be AWESOME: How to write a DIY tutorial
At the Empire, we love to see how you do all the amazing things you do. Reader DIY submissions show us so much! We can all learn to cook vegan bacon cheeseburgers, turn coffee tables into chalkboard canvases, and make our own wax seals from buttons. Our DIY archives have a big bright rainbow of how-to-DIY posts, but many of us are hungry, like some kind of craft-zombies, for MOAR BRAINS… err…. MOAR DIYs!
Here’s the trick: sometimes we need just a bit of help teaching each other how to do the awesome things we do ourselves. Framing the steps into a process we can repeat with huge success is easy if we all put our teacher hats on. Here’s a great outline for teaching us all how to be YOUR kind of awesome – how to write a DIY tutorial.