How NOT to pitch a nontraditional wedding blogger a story about engagement rings November 5 | Ariel offbeatbride As the publisher of a highly-trafficked wedding blog, of course I get a lot of public relations pitches every day. What's most remarkable about these pitches is how completely and comically off some of them can be. Here's my big guidance for public relations folks: if you're pitching a publication, it's worth taking five minutes to familiarize yourself with that publication's focus. For instance, if you're pitching a publication dedicated to nontraditional weddings, a publication that's got an entire archive dedicated to women who propose to their partners, why would you angle your story this way? December marks the most popular month for wedding proposals. An angle to report on might be how engagement rings have changed over the years and what's trending now. In the last decade, engagement ring expert XXXXXX has seen the size of a girl's best friend go from considerably under a carat to most often considerably over one carat. What's changed? "It's the emboldened modern woman," said XXXXX, who heads the online division of XXXXXXXXX. "Women are definitely more upfront about what they want." A story about how the "emboldened modern women" gets engaged could be interesting… but not when the angle is that being "more upfront about what you want" equates to… AND YOU WANT AN EVEN BIGGER DIAMOND RING FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND. (And yes, I said boyfriend, cuz you *know* this pitch is not talking about how emboldened modern lesbians get engaged.) And "a girl's best friend"! *Falls over dead* Listen: I am all for bling, but Offbeat Bride has never been about diamond as dick size, something any publicist would know if they took a few minutes to read the site before sending pitches. For more bad pitch comedy, I highly recommend this link. Oh and now might be a great time for me to link this post: Tough love: are you making these marketing communication mistakes? Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Ariel Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives in Seattle with her son, and if she's not reading or writing, chances are good that she's dancing and happy-crying. PREVIOUS 5 ways to woo an offbeat audience with your holiday marketing NEXT Pinterest's "rich pins" and you: how to get that nifty info into your pins Show/Hide comments [ 15 ] That is pretty hilarious! Because all "emboldened modern women" are also the same. And you should tell them so on a site called "Offbeat Bride." Then again, I, the Community Manager who has nothing to do with any of the blogs aside from writing guest posts, also get the occasional email about marketed posts. 8 agree I find this extremely entertaining as my husband will often offer to buy me nice jewels – I constantly have to tell him no, don't spend money on jewels; I'd rather he give me the money for my creative endeavors. 😀 5 agree But the size of a girl's best friend HAS grown in the last decade… http://www.docjohnson.com/dongs-dildos/w-balls/the-great-american-challenge.html Oh wait, that's not what you're talking about. (Seriously though, if you demand a particular SIZE diamond from your lover, you don't deserve to get married. Ugh. That's so disgusting.) (….unless you're demanding a small one, I guess that's okay.) 23 agree THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT. Any url that has /w-balls/ in it is awesome by me. 9 agree I demanded a small rock! And NOT a diamond! 😀 2 agree Who the hell came up with "girl's best friend"? That doesn't even make sense. This hurt my soul a little. 4 agree Marilyn Monroe sung it on Broadway, slung onto the back of a successful marketing campaign by De Beers "Diamonds Are Forever". Marketing. Ugh. (the words of Bill Hicks come to mind…) 1 agrees It was actually out of an ingenious marketing campaign by the DeBeers company ( the one that owns all the diamonds) Where they got Marilyn Monroe to sing a song about it. …..and reason number #56 why I asked for no diamonds. Honestly, I'd be more inclined to assume that the increased size of engagement rings is related to the fact that the average age of marriage is older than in the past, and so the people buying engagement rings are statistically more likely to be able to afford a bigger diamond. 12 agree Hmm, can't decide if I should be more appalled by the cliched language or the explanation for bigger diamonds. Or the grammar mistakes. Or the idea that emboldened women can't find anything better to demand than bigger diamonds. You would think a marketing pitch might be written by someone who understands that diamonds have gotten bigger because of MARKETING AND ADVERTISING campaigns. 2 agree Their heads would explode if they found out I'm "demanding" my Chewtoy buy me an entire fuggin' zoo. 😀 3 agree "Diamonds as dick size" cracked me up! Bwahahaha. 3 agree "Emboldened Modern Lesbians" is now the new name of my imaginary band. 9 agree With your hit song "diamonds as dick size". 5 agree Seems to me that the ring should fit the relationship. Twenty-five years into my parents marriage, my dad gave my mom a white gold ring with three diamonds – stating that he hadn't found the right ring prior. My mother? Loves her simple gold band… and LOVES her new ring. I wanted anything but yellow gold. My partner gave me this wonderful ring – white gold, tiny white and black diamonds in a swoop, and he added a small black pearl to it. I couldn't have imagined anything better – is it easier to say yes to a ring that he PUT THOUGHT INTO? Hell yes. The cost? About a quarter of what he makes a month. I don't know what the "ideal" is, but I can tell you that I get asked about my ring wherever we go. If you have a wonderful, unique, creative partner that you'd like to propose to – the ring needs to represent that person. My ring, without my husband's additions? Bland. Not me. Wouln't wear it. With his additions – him saying "I know you"? Amazing. 2 agree Comments are closed.