Noteworthy comments: dads eating their young, zombie inevitability, and why no one advertised on Offbeat Families

Why do we assume this loving zombie father is about to eat his baby? By: Bob JagendorfCC BY 2.0
Hiya! Whew, what a week for us… I've been dealing with jetlag and a sick kid, the editors are still working on getting their new post-Families sausage-making processes smoothed out, and Kellbot the developer almost lost her mind over the number of bugs crawling out from under the skirts of the Offbeat Bride Tribe.

As always, however, it was a week of insight and awesomeness from Offbeat Empire commenters… so let's do another week of rounding up some of our favorite comments from across our three active blogs.

Offbeat Home & Life

On our post about how one reader is avoiding "get married" peer pressure, Sunny (who some of you may remember in her role as an Offbeat Bride Tribe volunteer moderator last year) had this great comment:

This was the biggest barrier to me to getting married: that it would reinforce everybody's idea that there is a single trajectory to relationships, and that the pinnacle of that trajectory is marriage.

We got married anyway, but it still makes me so sad that the question of not getting married is always about "not yet" – when "marriage is not the right relationship for us" is a totally legitimate answer.

I wrestled with this same issue as well, not just with my own life choices, but in my choices as a publisher! I've always tried to make it clear that despite publishing Offbeat Bride, Offbeat Home & Life, and Offbeat Families (RIP), I don't think that ANYONE should feel pressured to get married, buy a home, or start a family… in that order, or AT ALL.

Offbeat Families

…or rather, Offbeat Families-on-Offbeat Home & Life. I loved this comment from Chloe on the post from a stay-at-home-dad:

My husband will join the amazing stay at home dad club soon and sometimes I worry what he'll have to put up with. Hell, one of the many reasons I can't stay home is because I couldn't handle the isolation. But I don't want him to get the side-eyes or the "aww, precious" comments. Seriously, when did we start treating men like it's amazing when they don't eat their own young?

I'm totally reminded of Target Women's "Doofy Husbands" segment:

And also, this amazing post in the Offbeat Families archive: Why are moms so hesitant to view their male partners as full, competent parents? SUCH a relevant post, and so worth a re-read. (PS: How much am I loving puttering around the Offbeat Families archive? So many amazing posts that had gotten buried and forgotten about.)

Offbeat Bride

On our post about a wedding officiant who dressed up as Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation, we adored Elizabeth's simple response:

Oh my god Q, that's amazing.

Oh, and then there was that thread about not crying over wedding dresses, where I tried to make a hyperbolic point about the stuff that makes good television (sobbing over wedding dresses, zombie invasions, etc) not being realistic. RakishLass responded:

I agree, although I am totally expecting a zombie outbreak eventually.

…but will the zombies sob over their poofy dresses on the "Say BRAINS to the dress?" reality shows that will inevitably air on post-apocalyptic television?

Offbeat Empire

First off: Megan and I were genuinely surprised by how few wedding photographers chimed in on our post about how exhausting their job is. The post got shared a ton by appreciative photogs, but no one wanted to vent… even when they were invited! Weird. I'm not used to the internet EVER passing up a chance to vent.

In my Offbeat Families post-mortem a couple days ago, Amanda asked a question that I thought might be worth pulling out and highlighting my answer to:

Have you discussed on OBE your theories *why* advertisers weren't as interested in OBFam? I've been curious.

My primary theory has always been that the "mommyblogger" market got over-saturated with non-pros willing to exchange blog placement for product samples.

Put another way, most businesses aren't willing to pay for placement on a parenting blog because there are so many hobbyist parenting bloggers who undervalue themselves — they've inadvertently undercut the market for paid promotional placement.

Also, Offbeat Families readers weren't big spenders when it came to sponsor's products, and had even been known to be hostile toward services and products they felt were too expensive. The few sponsors we DID get didn't always have great results (and sometimes even had negative experiences with crabby commenters), so we didn't have many repeat sponsors.

Offbeat Home & Life has been doing pretty decently with advertising lately, and I'm super excited to introduce y'all to the site's first round of monthly patrons next week. Tugboat Yards is being a REALLY cool shift, and I'm feeling much more optimistic about Offbeat Home & Life's financial outlook than I did about Offbeat Families.

  1. OMG I hadnt noticed the wedding photographer post! I'm totally going to vent now.

  2. I had one of those unexpectedly fabulous days yesterday. I didn't get a parking ticket when I forgot to feed the meter, a meeting I expected to be a hot mess of egos turned out to be pleasant and productive, Colorado has RARE gorgeous autumn colors, at a spontaneous happy hour we met lots of truly AWESOME people who are virtually our neighbors. I didn't want to go to sleep because my day was going so nicely.

    And then, in the middle of the night, I read this: "I'm feeling much more optimistic about Offbeat Home & Life's financial outlook."

    Deciding my day was now truly perfect, I happily drifted off to sleep. It's the simple pleasures…

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    • Aren't the colors this year amazing? I've lived in Colorado my entire life and I've never understood the big deal about autumn. I mean, it's always been either summer with shorter days or winter with longer days. This year I keep finding myself thinking "I totally get it! This season is wonderful!" I'm sure it won't last. lol

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      • They are amazing! Ironically, I think those torrential rains are what created this gorgeous, gorgeous autumn.

  3. Thing One: Men (especially fathers) being portrayed as inept or thoroughly disinterested is one of the hub's biggest peeves. He's definitely better with children than most people I know, and his career is developmental disabled care has proved that he is way more maternal and on the ball about things about the house and involving young ones than I may ever be.

    Thing Two: I REALLY hope OH&L continues going strong. I've been a die hard Offbeat fan since StumbleUpon-ing OBB six years ago. I've been married for a while, so I don't check Bride very regularly any more, but EVERY single Home post gets read. (Even if it 300% has nothing to do with me, I read it because it MIGHT, some day.) However, (here comes the over-share) I'm not able to have kids, so Families always made me feel sad, so I wasn't able to patron it nearly as often as I would have liked.

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  4. I too am a MASSIVE fan of all the OB series of sites and I was devastated when Offbeat Families was closed down. As a recently-married-but-not-pregnant-but-OMG-babies reader, I felt that OBF was a great place to get interesting info on planning for families without the Martha Stewart or the OMG-if-you-don't-buy-all-these-products-your-baby-will-DIE angles. So I've made a decision: every time I visit an OB site now, I'm going to click an ad into a new tab. If I don't get time to read them, then fine. But hopefully the OBE will at least get some cash from my clicky and I can keep reading home and baby-crack.

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