Favorite comments: Snake pits and freaky kale

No vegans or snakes were harmed in the making of this image.
No vegans or snakes were harmed in the making of this image.
Another week of working in the Offbeat Empire trenches means another week of amazing, inspiring, and hilarious reader comments to celebrate.

For those just joining us, every Friday we have an editorial staff meeting where we talk over company biz, editorial strategies, and gossip about our readers. As part of this meeting, we always talk about some of our favorite comments that have appeared across the blogs. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're beautiful, and sometimes they're ridiculous. This week, they're all three!

Offbeat Home & Life

Oh man. I normally try to avoid highlighting snarky commenter pile-ons, but I can't resist the response to one of my favorite reader complaints we have ever gotten on any of the sites ever. The comment came in on a post looking for friendly vegetarian message boards, when a first-time commenter (and I'm assuming first-time reader) took great offense at the fact that the question suggested some vegetarians could be unfriendly. She then went on to drop this glitter-bomb:

Anyway, this is clearly an anti-vegan pit of snakes, so I will vacate.

Now, seriously: I really normally try to ignore stuff like this. But this one was so over-the-top that I had to respond. I mean, it was just a couple weeks ago that Jezebel was bitching about Offbeat Bride's eye-rollingly pro-vegan bride stance… and now here we are being skewered as an "anti-vegan pit of snakes." Clearly, there's no winning on the interwebs, unless of course you count the hilarious replies that came in on the snake-pit comment thread. Shortlist of faux-offended readers:

God, it was comedy.

Offbeat Bride

Amanda the Great lived up to her name on her comment on the post about kale bouquets:

I'm gonna start saying "get your freaky kale on!" in place of like, "you go girl" or similar.

Yes. Please make this a thing. Kale is so hot right now.

Offbeat Families

On a more serious note (oh, Offbeat Families… you're ALWAYS on a more serious note), on the post about the challenges of trying to conceive, Shauna I. had a lovely perspective on trying to overcome her own difficult emotions around infertility…

And while I think it's okay & natural to be angry and bitter, I've taken to forcing myself into situations where I can't be. For example, I always volunteer to throw the baby showers. Doing so, puts me in a position where I have to focus on the celebration rather than my own sadness. Or, I'll offer to hold & care for the baby (even though the first time left me weeping), so they become little ones I love and cherish, and not just living evidences of my own biological shortcomings. I don't know if it will work for everyone and the feelings definitely don't change immediately. But I'm happy/sad to say that after 6 months, I can finally hold my darling niece without getting upset and wanting to crawl in a hole. Instead of resenting her existence, I can feel her angelic sweetness healing my heart in a way only the innocence of a child can.

As someone who dealt with infertility for five years, I'm here to say… that's some tough work that Shauna did. Would that we could all overcome our own emotional challenges with such grace.

    • HA! You should have written this post.

      2 agree
  1. I didn't realize I missed out on so much indignant Vegan SJW-ness! That was delightfully drama-licious.

    4 agree
    • It is my aim to use that phrase to describe any slightly hostile/ debating or even just noisy group I a part of from here on!

      4 agree
  2. totally gigling at the snake pit and harpist. lol!

    as for kale, as long as it don't be stinky…hey, i would walk down the aisle then blend it into a smoothie baby.

    1 agrees
  3. Yep, that whole vegan discussion cracked me up. The pit of snakes commenter also had another gem further up, likening meat eating to human rights abuses. To which, another wonderful offbeater had a perfect response:

    "Way to embody the exact hostility that the original poster was trying to avoid. Bonus points for getting the word privilege in there."

    9 agree
  4. Yes! I aim to entertain with my harp related jokes. I now have achieved one of my goals in life by making the favorite comment blog post (and oh hey, on my birthday to boot. I should have taken a break from partying with copious amounts of pie and checked this post Friday).

    2 agree
  5. I loved the harpist come back and this comment as well:
    "It's unfair to charactarize a pit of snakes as a bad thing. They have chosen that pit as their home and you should respect that."

    7 agree
  6. I get overly excited when my comments make thie list…

    1 agrees
    • Here on the Empire, there is no such thing as "overly excited." :) EXCITEMENT IS THE WHOLE POINT!!!

      6 agree

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